there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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