I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
