If that was your dad, he is hot
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
