i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
