Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
