That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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