Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
