i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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