Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
