Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
