I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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