Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
