I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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