Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
