whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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