a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
