You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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