But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Randomize
