My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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