They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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