I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
