the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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