Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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