I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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