Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
