fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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