He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize