my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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