in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
