Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My cat gives me a boner
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
