quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
