he shaved USA in his pubs
this just has baby written all over it
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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