Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
