if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
