i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
