i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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