someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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