I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
