doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
