Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
