You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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