We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
We're like a lot better than the average bears
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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