i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
