Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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