i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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