hotel room ftw
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
