HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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