Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize