I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
3 2 1 whiskey
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
