i barfeds in our rink
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
