the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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