there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
