he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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