so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
