I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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