didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
