Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
