As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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