we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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